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Treat a man as he appears to be and you make him worse. But treat a man as if he already were what he potentially could be, and you make him what he should be.

- Goethe

One of the best ways to inspire others and make them feel good about themselves is to show them who they could be. Years ago, a manager for the New York Yankees wanted rookie players to know what a privilege it was to play for the team.  He used to tell them, “Boys, it’s an honor just to put on the New York pinstripes. So when you put them on, play like world champions. Play like Yankees. Play proud.”

When you give someone a reputation to uphold, you give him something good to shoot for.  It’s putting something that was beyond his reach within his grasp.  By speaking to their potential, you help the people around you to “play proud,” as the Yankees do.  Why is that important?  Because people will go farther than they thought they could when someone they respect tells them they can.

If you desire to give others a reputation to uphold, here are suggestions on how to get started:

a.  Have A High Opinion of People

The opinion you have of people in your life affect them profoundly.  Dr. J. Sterling Livingston, formerly of the Harvard Business School and founder of the Sterling Institute management consulting firm, observed, “People perform consistently as they perceive you expect them to perform.”

A reputation is something that many people spend their entire lives trying to live down or live up to.  So why not help others up instead of pushing them down?  All people possess both value and potential.  You can find those things if you try.

b.  Back Up Your High Opinion Of Others With Action

When you back up your belief in people with action, their self-doubt begins to evaporate.

If you want a new manager to rise to the high opinion you’ve expressed about her, then give her significant responsibility.  Nothing gives people confidence like seeing someone they respect put his money where his mouth is. Not only does it empower them emotionally, but it also resources their drive towards success.

c.  Look Past Their Pasts and Give Them Reputations For Their Futures

Old negative names, labels or nicknames can block a person’s growth and progress.  Perhaps that’s why the rites of passage in many cultures include giving a new title or name to the person being honored.  A new name gives someone a hope for a new future.

A fun example of this can be found in the movie and play The Man of La Mancha, based on Cervantee’s classic work Don Quixote.  The protagonist, Don Alonzo, pursues a life of chivalry and seeks to become a knight-errant long after that age of history has passed.  He sees giants where others see windmills and quests where others see rabbit trails. Comically, he “rescues” a common prostitute named Aldonza, whom he sees as a beautiful lady.  He calls her Dulcinea and makes her the object of his knightly exploits.

At first she resents him.  She thinks he is mocking her, because she hates herself and her life. But with time, his vision of her replaces her own and gives her hope.  And as the old man lies on his deathbed, she thanks him for seeing in her what she could not see in herself.

d.  Give People A New Name or Nickname That Speaks To Their Potential

Harry Hopman, one of the finest tennis captains and coaches in Australia’s history and a member of the International Tennis Hall of Fame, at one time built the Australian team to the point that it dominated the tennis world. How did he do it?  By emphasizing what he called “coaching by affirmation.”  For example, he had a slow player whom he named “Rocket.”  Another player, who was not known for his strength or constitution, he called “Muscles.”  And it certainly gave them a boost.  “Rocket’ Rod Laver and Ken “Muscle” Rosewall become champions in the tennis world.

I sometimes encounter leaders who believe you shouldn’t stroke people’s egos by giving them reputations they haven’t quite earned. And I always point these folks to the “ten-year-rule”. It’s derived from research showing that elite performers, those whose reputations precede them, usually needed at least ten years of dedicated and consistent practice before they obtained any recognizable level of excellence. The research also shows that the process can be cut dramatically when individuals see signs that they are already beginning to achieve a recognizable reputation.

To apply John’s teaching to your own life …..

Forget about:

A person’s failures in the past and focus on his or her potential in the future.

Ask:

What is special, unique, and wonderful about this person?  How can I show it to others?

Do it:

Back up your high opinion of a person with action that reinforces that opinion.

Remember:

Many people go farther than they thought they could go because someone else believed they could and told them so.

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CREATE A MEMORY AND VISIT IT OFTEN

‘Memory is the treasury and guardian of all things’. – Cicero

Few things bond people together like a shared memory.  Soldiers who battled together, teammates who win a championship, and work teams that hit their goals share a connection that never goes away. Married couples who experience rough times can often look back on their earlier experiences together to keep them going.  Families bond when they rough it on camping trips or share adventures on vacation and then love recounting their experience years later.

Some memories come as the result of circumstance, but many can be proactively created.

The richest memories are often those we plan and intentionally created.  Here are some hints for creating memories that will help you win with people:

a. INITIATIVE – Make Something Happen

Memories don’t find us – we find them.  Even better, if we are intentional, we can make memories.

b. TIME – Set Aside Time To Make Something Happen

For years parents have debated the issue of quality time versus quantity of time.  As a father and grandfather, I have discovered that it takes quantity time to find quality time. If you don’t carve out the time, you can’t create the memory.

Haven’t you found that most memories you have are with the people you spend the most time with?  I know that’s true for me.  If you want to make memories with your family, spend more time with them. If you want to create memories with your employees, you won’t do it behind the door of your office. You simply can’t make memories with people if you don’t take time to be with them.

c. PLANNING – Plan For Something To Happen

Most people don’t lead their lives – they accept their lives.  They wait for memorable experiences to happen, never giving a thought to planning an experience that will make a memory.

d. CREATIVITY – Find A Way To Make Something Happen

What do you do when you find yourself at an event where you expect to share a memory but nothing seems to happen?  You get creative.  I’ve been asked over and over to tell the story of the Holiday Bowl I attended at San Diego with friends about fifteen years ago.  The game was so dull that I ended up buying newspapers for everyone in my section so that we would have something to do.  Another guy nearby, not to be outdone, bought one hundred bags of peanuts and distributed them to everybody in the section.  The two of us got a standing ovation, and soon the news crews were more focused on us than the game.  I don’t remember the score or much about the game, but it’s a night I’ll never forget.  Neither will the buddies who went with me.

e. SHARED EXPERIENCES – Make Something Happen - Together

Memories compound when they are experienced with someone you love. J

f. MEMENTOS – Show That Something Happened

“Almost anything you do today will be forgotten in just a few weeks,” says author and research scientist John McCrone.  “The ability to retrieve a memory decreased exponentially unless boosted by artificial aids such as diaries and photographs.”

Don’t you find that to be true? Do you keep pictures or souvenirs on your desk where you can see them?  Do you carry photos of people you love in your wallet? Do you have a trophy, plaque, game ball, or other award on a shelf where you and others can see it?  We all have things we love – not because they have any material value but because they remind us of places we’ve been or things we’ve done.  When you help someone else create a memory, give that person something to remember it by.

g. RELIVE THE MEMORY – Talk About What Happened

The most important part of creating a memory is reliving it.  It’s the payoff!  Many times when I travel with others, at the end of our trip I ask them to share a favorite memory.  It often leads to rich conversations.  Or I write a note to someone soon afterward to share my own favorite memory.  It creates a connection that bonds us together and makes both of us feel great.

There isn’t a person in the world who doesn’t understand the value of positive memories.  They can sustain people during the worst of times and inspire them during the best of times.  And best of all, anyone can create a memory and visit it often!

To apply John’s teaching to your life ……..

Forget about:

Trying to have quality time to make a memory if you aren’t willing to invest the quantity of time it requires.

Ask:

What memories have I already created with people in my life that we need to relive together?

Do it:

Plan an experience that will commemorate an achievement or milestone that people will talk about years from now.  And don’t forget to create a memento of it.

Remember:

We shouldn’t wait for memories to happen to us. We need to make memories happen.

Being a subscriber of LinkedIn Learning & Development group couple of months back, I came across a discussion about S.M.A.R.T as a prehistoric method of goal setting process and should be replaced with V.I.S.T.A. Many chiped in their responses and shared their thoughts about S.M.A.R.T and V.I.S.T.A. Overall, there is a mix reaction but overall agreed S.M.A.R.T & V.I.S.T.A have their own advantages & disadvantages.

That triggered me to share my thoughts about S.M.A.R.T & V.I.S.T.A especially on their practical application in your job search. Throughout this article, I’ll be covering my personal perspective on how to leverage S.M.A.R.T and/or V.I.S.T.A to set your career goal, the fundamental thing to do before starting your job search. Don’t worry if you do not know what S.M.A.R.T and V.I.S.T.A mean, I’ll elaborate more in the next paragraph.

What is S.M.A.R.T and V.I.S.T.A? For those who are familiar with goal setting process, I’m sure you have heard about S.M.A.R.T. Basically S.M.A.R.T is an acronym of Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant & Timely. Maybe some of you will have a slightly different acronym but more or less many will agree with me. While V.I.S.T.A stands for Visual, Inspiration, Specific, Timely & Assessable. To be honest, after reading that discussion in LinkedIn, that was the first time I read about V.I.S.T.A and started to give some thoughts about it. For me S.M.A.R.T is still relevant in today’s goal setting scenario and V.I.S.T.A acts as a complimentary to S.M.A.R.T but covering more on the emotional part of the goal setting process. Both were created with the same objective and it all depends on us as a user to optimize our goal setting process using S.M.A.R.T and/or V.I.S.T.A. To learn more about S.M.A.R.T & V.I.S.T.A practical application in your career goal setting process, move on to the next paragraph.

Let me start on how to use S.M.A.R.T in our career goal setting process. Firstly, S stands for Specific. To achieve a goal, you will need to be Specific. As what Stephen R. Covey shared in his bestseller book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Habit #2 is “Start With the End in Mind”. You will need to start with the knowing of what you want to achieve specifically. In your career, maybe you want to grow your career. Having that as your career goal is not specific enough. A specific career goal for instance is to grow my career as a department manager. Next, M for Measurable. To achieve a specific career goal, it must be measurable. A measurable career goal should be “ To grow my career as a department manager in the next 3 years”. A for Achievable is a question you should ask yourself if your specific & measurable career goal is achievable or not? If your working experience is at entry level, then having this career goal is not achievable but if you are at a 1st level managerial role with several years experience than it is achievable. Moving on to R which is Relevant. This is to gauge if your career goal is relevant to what or where you are working. If the current company you are working do not have a department manager role then that career goal is not relevant. Maybe you will need to move out from that company and find a suitable company that can provide you that department manager role. Finally, T for Timely. For this example, Timely is the same as Measurable where you want to be a department manager in the next 3 years. Just to illustrate how you can use Timely in your career goal; if your measurable career goal is to increase your salary by 20%. Then for the Timely portion, you can add on “to increase your salary by 20% in the next 2 years”. I hope this simple illustration will give an idea how to use S.M.A.R.T to set your career goal.

Now, let me add on V.I.S.T.A into our career goal setting process. V stands for Visual, which is to leverage our imagination to come out our career goal. As I mentioned before, V.I.S.T.A covers the emotional part of goal setting process and that is why it starts with V for Visual and I for Inspiration. As we are aware, inspiration influence our motivation to take action and it is also a very powerful influence. Inspiration will only come if we can visualize our career goal. To illustrate an example, let me use the career goal example from S.M.A.R.T, which is to grow my career. You will need to visualize that you have grown your career to the next level; to whatever level it is i.e. from Entry Engineer to Senior Engineer, 1st Level Manager to Department Manager and etc. Once you visualize it and if you really want it, you will automatically get inspired to achieve it. To ease your visualization & inspiration process, you will need to be S for Specific. Similar to what you have gone thru in S.M.A.R.T; similarly in V.I.S.T.A, it will help so much to be specific in you career goal setting process. Then followed by T for Timely i.e, by when you want to achieve your career goal. Finally, followed by A which is Assessable. Again, similar to A: Achievable & R: Relevant in S.M.A.R.T, it will be effective to challenge your career goal setting process by assessing if it is achievable and relevant to your career. With that we have finished our career goal setting process using S.M.A.R.T and/or V.I.S.T.A.

There is a famous saying ” If you fail to plan, then you are planning to fail”. It is very true in whatever you want to do especially in your career planning. S.M.A.R.T and/or V.I.S.T.A is just a tool which is totally useless if you do not know how to leverage that tool. Learning how to use it and actually practicing their application is the key to your success. If you have any questions or experience to share for discussion, please ask & share, that is one of the best way to learn. Good luck!!

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In my previous Vista Penang Toastmasters Club meeting, my Vice President of Education asked me if I’m interested to complete my 10th speech in another club rather then wait for our next meeting next week. I politely declined him since I’m just too lazy to complete my speech earlier. Well, today, I’m in Dell Toastmasters Club delivering my 10th speech a week earlier than plan.

So, what has made me changed?

Last weekend, I received a SMS from our Area Governor (AG), Jessica urgently need me to complete my 10th speech in this week. Well, at first I was a bit reluctant, but after thinking about it, I’m sure our AG really needs my contribution for the Distinguish Club Point so that’s why I’m standing here.

My fellow Toastmasters,

What I’m going to share in the next 8-9 minutes is my personal perspective in my CC journey on what I have learnt from my past 9 speeches. I hope my speech today will inspire all of us to continuously sharpen our communication skill to become a much better speaker.

Throughout my 9 speeches which I believed I have put some effort to prepare, deliver, learn and improve on how to become a better speaker. I know, my Toastmasters journey is still at the beginning but I felt I have done something right in my life. I’ve decided to be a Toastmaster because of 2 reasons. The first, I knew I need to improve my speaking skills and the second I need some accreditation to venture into my passion of becoming a public speaker. I wanted to start my consulting business helping anyone to effectively market their career to secure a job or for career progression. I know Toastmasters can help me and that makes me more determined to venture myself more into the world of Toastmasters.

Started in Apr 2009, I delivered my first speech about “Myself” in the Ice Breaker. Talking about myself to new friends at that time carried me away and I exceeded the allocated time given of 4-6 minutes. I’ve finished my speech at about 9 minutes and that was my first attempt without any practice. So the lesson I’ve learnt is to practice my speech within the time limit.

2 months later, I organized my speech on “How to Win in the Job Market?” The practice worked where I ended my speech at 6 minutes 30 seconds, within the allocated time of 5-7 minutes. Glad I’ve fixed that problem but I was too nervous. So another lesson learnt is practice to relax while delivering my speech.

Came Aug, it was my 3^rd speech of Get to the Point, where I talked about “Just Focus on Your Strength”. Well, I focused too much on my time, until I slightly finished my speech earlier of 5 mins and 25 secs and also forgotten my conclusion. I still need to keep practicing my speech especially on the time and end my speech with a conclusion.

In my fourth speech, How to say it, I’ve decided to talk about “Make Our Life Simple”. Overall it works with the time, 7 mins 45 secs. But the examples I’ve used according to my evaluator is irrelevant where I used the analogy of the evolution of PC to win a promotion. Anyway, lesson learnt is everyone has their own opinion, so respect it and move on.

Next, it was time to use my body language. I’ve decided to talk about “The Hidden Power of Body Language. It started fine but at the middle of my speech, my handphone rang. So, anther impotant lesson learnt is remember to put my handphone at silent or vibrate mode during a Toastmasters meeting.

I started the year 2010 with my 6^th speech about “Oh My God”. At that time, the issue of using the word Allah to reflect other religions’s God is a hot issue. As a Muslim, it is my obligation to explain the meaning of the word Allah and it is okay to use that name as long it will not mislead anyone. However, during that speech, I’ve not used much vocal variety hence another lesson learnt is continue practicing with vocal variety.

Research your topic was my next speech where I talked about a book written by a well known author, John C Maxwell; “Talent is Never Enough”. Shared some key highlights from the book but I’ve forgotten to call for action. Another lesson learnt is continue practicing to end with a call for action.

Then came the fun part, using Visual Aids. I used some visual aids to illustrate the acronym “SMART vs. VISTA” on how to set an effective goal. I was so excited during the speech until I’ve forgotten to use some pauses between the points. So, another lesson learnt is to practice with pauses between my points.

Last week, I’ve presented my 9^th speech to persuade with power. I talked about “Don’t Trust Your Amygdala” which attracted some attention with this title. Amygdala is an almond shape part of the brain which stores information from past experience. Trusting your amygdala will leads to making assumptions which may produce positive or negative results. Again, according to my evaluator, I’m not engaging my audience enough by asking questions. Another lesson learnt is practice to engage my audience.

So now I’m at the end of my 10^th speech. Overall I can summarized what I have learnt into 3 important points. The 1^st point is to deliver a good speech requires lots of practice, the 2^nd point is never ever have anything that can interfere my speech especially handphone and finally the 3^rd point is use body language, vocal variety and visual aids to engage your audience.

My fellow Toastmasters,

Ask yourself this question. What have you learn throughout your Toastamasters journey? For myself, I will never learnt those 3 important points if I have never pushed and urged myself to continue my CC journey. What really inspired me to continue this journey is the potential knowledge, experience and exposure I will gain from this program as what I have share just now. Believe me, you will learn something new every time you delivered a speech or attended a Toastmasters meeting.

I would like to end by saying this: Everyone has the ability to be successful but not everyone has the courage to be successful. Build that courage to conquer and success is just waiting for you.

With that, thank you.

“Papa, let us follow the short cut road home”. My 5 years old daughter asked me to follow the short cut road going back to our apartment. I looked at her and stopped my car at the road side and pointed to a road sign and started to spell “ J A … Ja, L A N… lan, Jalan, M A… Ma, T I… Ti, Mati…. Jalan Mati (in Malay) which means Dead End. I explained that to her. Obviously, it clearly shows that the road has been blocked and there is no need for me to drive down that road to check if it is really blocked or not. I assumed that the road is blocked based on the road sign. At that time, I believed I’ve made a fair judgement.

But after what happened last week has changed my perspective in my decision making. My 5 years old daughter still insisted me to drive down that road to see if it is really blocked or not. Since I have some time to spend, I’ve decided to follow what she wants. I drove down the road, passed the “Jalan Mati” sign and at the end of the road, I was shocked to see there is nothing blocking the road. With my mouth opened and looked at my the daughter who was smiling along the way, I’m totally speechless at that time. At that moment, it triggered me a very important lesson learnt from my 5 years old daughter; never ever assume.

I’m sure you might have gone through a similar experience back at home, in the office and maybe anywhere. Making assumption has been part of our life especially for me who studied engineering. Back in the university and also at work, I’ve been trained to make engineering judgement based on assumption. How the process works is with some engineering data, I have to make decision even though I’m not sure if the decision will be correct or not. But as an engineer, I have to make that engineering decision. Many of us have to do the same regardless in whatever field you are working. Obviously, decision making based on assumption do save time and also some are successful but there are also many catastrophic disasters happened because of poor assumption.

The focus of this article is to persuade all of us to improve our decision making based on a better assumption making process. Inside our brain, we have a almond shape part which is called amygdala. The function of the amygdala is to store information based on your experience. Your emotion and behaviour will be controlled by the information available in your amygdala. Taking myself as an example, my amygdala told me the road sign written as “Jalan Mati” means it is a dead end. But the experience I went through with my daughter that day, my amygdala is not giving me the right information. Well, my daughter’s amygdala is still empty and that is why she still insisted me to drive down that road or maybe she don’t trust me . Anyway, my first point is never trust your amygdala. Your past experience does not guarantee you in making a good assumption.

So now we know we can’t trust our amygdala. Then, what should we do? We should confirm our assumption. If you happened to encounter an experience you are familiar with, do take some precaution to think through it carefully. Stop your amygdala to influence your decision making. Bear in mind that the same experience you have gone through previously might not be the same for this round. Explore all possibilities and collect information as much as possible than only make that decision.

Finally, thank god our amygdala is rewritable. With some courage and determination, the information in our amygdala can be erased, modified and also add on. Whatever your have learnt while you are confirming your assumption must be stored into your amygdala. Based on that new experience, it will help you be more effective in making assumption for your decision making in the future.

Before I end this article, obviously you can’t escape from making assumption in your daily life. But now you know that there is an almond shape part in your brain called amygdala which can help you make a better assumption. But remember, start by not trusting it, confirm your assumption and restore what you have learnt in your amygdala.

Believe me this works and I learnt it from my 5 years old daughter.

John C. Maxwell wrote a book titled “Talent is Never Enough”. For those who are wondering who John is, he is one of the leading international leadership guru who has sold more than 12 million copies of his book such as The 360 Degree Leader, Developing The Leader Within You & many more.

My fellow Toastmasters & Guest,

I’m not going to talk about the biography of John C. Maxwell in my speech today. What I plan to do for the next 6 minutes is to talk about the misconception about talent. Is talent enough to be successful in our life? I would like to share based on my research from John’s book, Talent is Never Enough and also from my personal observation.

I would like to start with what is talent? Based on our most trusted source, Wikipedia, talent is the natural ability or a gift in a person to do something without a need to learn how to do it. Obviously talent is already there in each of us since the day we are in our mother’s womb, just waiting for the right time to show it off. To name some of these famous talented people, Pablo Picasso & Leonardo da Vinci for their talent in art, Michael Jackson & The Beatles for their talent in singing, Steve Job and Bill Gates for their talent in technology leadership, Zinadeen Zidane & Maradona for their talent in football and not to forget Tiger Woods in his world of golf. All of these people have special talents that have somehow changed the way we live today.

However for all these talented people, talent alone is never enough to make them successful. Even though their talent does help but there are still many other factors that make them achieved their fame. As I’ve mentioned earlier, talent is just an ability hidden in all of us just waiting for the right time to reveal itself.

To make this happen there must be some internal & external factors that need to be synchronized with their hidden talent.

So what are these factors? In this book John has listed down 13 factors (11 internal & 2 external). I don’t think I have the time to share all these 13 factors, so I’ll just cover only 4 factors ( 3 internal & 1 external)

Let me start with the internal factors. Internally, for a talented person to be successful, that person must have the passion, take the initiative & maintain good character or “PIC” (passion, initiative & character). To illustrate how “PIC” works, let us look at Tiger Woods. He is the first African American to reach the top of the golf world with his talent. He was introduced to golf at a very tender age of 2 years old by his father and from that day onwards he built his passion in golf. Well obviously his talent is not enough because he has to work hard perfecting his swing every single day before any tournament. His passion & hard work has resulted in many victories for him to become world # 1. On top of that, he has portrayed a positive character in his career until recently everything good he gone because of his disloyalty in his marriage. For sure talent for Tiger Woods is never enough for him to sustain his success.

What about the external factor?

Your reputation in eyes of the public is one of the external factors. There is no way a talented person is regards as successful if the public is not acknowledging that. Again taking Tiger Woods as an example, he glamorous & wealthy life is not just because of his talent. The sponsorship & publicity that he received from his success i.e. his reputation have brought his family & himself to fame. Unfortunately immediately after his scandal was revealed throughout the world, many of his sponsors started to pull out their sponsorship because of his bad reputation to the public especially to ladies. That was really a big blow to him because majority of his wealth depends on these sponsorship. Again talent is never enough for Tiger Woods’s reputation.

This example I’ve shared with you today is an eye opener to many of us who thought to be successful in our life we will just need some sort of talent. That is why many of us started to blame our failures because we are lack of that talent. Unfortunately, there are many internal & external factors that will bring us to success. I hope my speech today is wake up call that talent alone is never enough and with that I end my speech.

Thank you

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My fellow Toastmasters & Guest,

I had a tough time preparing this speech just because this assignment required me to practice body language and at the same time deliver an interesting speech. What I’m going to share in the next 6-7 minutes is to start with a brief introduction of body language. Followed by some examples of its application in our daily life and what we can do to be good it in.

Body language is just alike any other verbal or written language where its main purpose is as a tool for us to communicate with each other. The uniqueness of body language is that it can be used to communicate with anyone even they talk or write in totally different languages. A bang on the table and a grinch in your face means you are angry and regardless anywhere you go, people will know that you are angry even if you do not say anything. To a certain extend, it is even harder to lie using your body language where your true colours will reveal who you really are. This is the power of body language that many do not realize and it is an important tool for us to learn and master in our life.

Rishi, do you know that more than half of our communication is based on our body language? He is nodding his head which means he knows that we always use our body language when we communicate. Now, Usha imagine if you are in a situation where someone just entered into this room and start talking to Hock Chye while I’m standing here delivering my speech. Without saying anything, spontaneously you will look at that person and raising your index finger touching your mouth and make the shoo sound is another example of a body language. Peng Yew, who felt disgusted with this distraction, will look straight at that person with a disgusted face. That person who felt guilty will raise up his hand to apologies and as silently as possible will move back to find an empty seat. Well, all that happen without saying a single word but all of us understood what each of us means. Obviously, most of the time we are communicating with each other non-verbally and that is happening every time in our daily life.

By now, we should realize that our body language plays an important role in our communication. The way we reacted and our facial expression not only will tell how we feel but also will reflect our true identity. Fail to control it will open up our can of worms. So how can we control our body language?

Recently I just read a book titled “Listening Leader”. In this book, overall it teaches how to be a good listener. One of the skills taught is called “SIER” which stands for Sensing, Interpreting, Evaluating & Response. Even though this book is all about verbal communication but I think “SIER” can also be used in our body language. Going back to the example of banging on the table. When I did that, you will be “Sensing” the sound and my hand gesture banging on the table. Your mind will spontaneously “Interpret” that I am angry. At the same time you will also start “Evaluating” what is your next reaction, either to come over and ask me why I’m angry or maybe just ignore me. When you decided to take the action, this is where you “Responded” to me. Without realizing it, you have taken the steps in “SIER”. Understanding how “SIER” works not only will help you to control your reaction but also helps on how you express your body language. If you are aware your every action will be sensed, interpreted, evaluated and responded, you will be more careful on how you express yourself non-verbally. Having that in mind and with some practice, your mind will automatically think on what you are going to do and the effect of it before actually doing it. With that, you will improve on how to control your body language.

Like any form of communication, body language is just a tool. Your intention will be revealed even how good you are controlling to hide it. Hence, always be truthful to yourself and to anyone around you and always be yourself. “SIER” is also a tool which can help you be a good communicator as long your intention is good.

With that, thank you for listening.

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My fellow Toastmasters & Guest,

We are living in a very complex world. Most of the things that are happening around us is based on a very complex system that are working together helping us to live a better life. Let me take a personal computer or commonly known as a PC for an example. About 20 years ago, it is not common to see a PC in most of our homes. But now, it has become an essential tool in our life and even some homes have more than 1 PC.

Even though a PC is relatively an easy tool to use but in the inside, a very complex system is working silently. The moment you press the start button, it will trigger the power supply to send electrical current to drive the processor which is the brain of the PC to process signals or data and send them to a detector to project the image we can see on the monitor screen. Thank God, someone has simplified the usage of a PC if not; imagine the hassle all of us have to go through or maybe we will not use it at all.

The point that I would like to share in my speech today is just make our life simple. If a computer did not evolved from its start up size as big as this room or maybe bigger to relatively smaller as what we have now, I’m sure the word PC will not exist. Unfortunately, living in this complex world has influenced us to think that complexity is a way of life. Even though evolution has simplified things such as computers, handphones and many more but evolution did the opposite to us. We have evolved from a simple life thousand of years ago to a very complex life in this 21st century. Even our body itself consists of many complex systems and so do our mind. The way we think is already a complex process and logically as a result our action will definitely be complex too. Fortunately, it is not impossible to make our life simple if we know how.

What I’m going to share next is something practical & fundamental which I call the process as F.O.R or FOR.

F is for Facts, O means Organize and R is for Reflect.

Whenever you want to simplify a solution to a problem, breakdown the problem into simple steps. Start by understanding the problem based on the facts which is the F. For example, if you are not getting the promotion that you supposed to get after working hard to complete an important assignment, rather than being upset and demotivated which will make your problem to be complex, why not talk to your boss about it to actually know why you are not getting that promotion. Do your facts finding.

Next O for organize comes in when you start to make arrangement with your boss to talk about your dissatisfaction. Clearly state why you think you deserved that promotion then let your boss talk. Ask for clarification if you don’t understand. Even though your boss can come out with many logical or illogical explanation, don’t make any conclusion yet until you reflect on the facts which is the R.

Later spend some time to reflect on the facts and also share with your close friends or love ones to get their feedback. With that, make a decision either to improve and wait for next round of promotion or if the facts does not make sense, then it is time to look somewhere else that can provide what you want.

Using these simple steps: F.O.R will prevent you to complicate your problem. Imagine if you don’t organize your facts finding and reflect on them, you might acted foolishly by arguing with your boss which will kill your career. So simplify your problem by doing F.O.R.

I would like to end my speech with a story I read sometime ago about a team in NASA whom for the first time wanted to send astronauts to a space station. The challenge the team had is due to no gravity in the outer space, it is impossible to write with a normal pen. So rather than looking for a simple solution, they spent million of dollars and several months to invent a special pen that can work in the outer space. Meanwhile the Russian team who also had the same problem resorted to a very simple solution that doesn’t cost much by just using a pencil. They just look at the facts, organize and reflect on them.

So my fellow Toastmasters & Guest, just do F.O.R to make our life simple.

Thank you.

This article is taken from my speech during our last Toastmaster meeting.

Do you know what is the only thing that will never stop until you die other than the pumping of your heart?

You will never stop learning from the day you were born until the day you end your life. Learning is a continues process for you to develop a certain skill set to do something effectively to achieve a desirable result.

Learning can happen in 3 ways.

Firstly it can happen instantaneously using the subconscious mind like a baby trying to stand up for the first time by holding the edge of a table or a chair to lift its body up and stand before falling on the floor. But later on will try again and learn to balance its body until it can stand up comfortably.

Learning can also happen by force as what we have gone through in school. Like it or not, we have been forced to go to school and obviously all of us have adapted to this type of learning.

Another type of learning which I will talk about in my speech today is self learning which is the best type of learning just because it originated by your own initiative. When a person opted to develop him or herself, automatically the commitment and the dedication will come out by itself. A great example is here in Toastmasters. I’m sure no one is here by force or just happen to be here because your subconscious mind brought you here. We are here because we have chosen to develop ourself to be a better speaker and at the same time develop leadership skills for our career or personal needs.

Self learning is about how you want to develop yourself in whatever way you want by yourself. You can learn by reading books or articles, by attending talks or courses, by reading and leaving comments in blogs or participate in forums and etc. You can also learn by joining clubs such as Toastmasters or just do something positive to get out from your comfort zone.

The “Law of Entropy”, one of the fundamental universal physical law stated that anything that is left to itself, organized system will get less organize and unstable as time advances. For example if you abandon a new car for a year or more, you will notice a flat tire, broken windows, corrode parts and etc. Similarly, if you are not continuously learning and developing yourself even currently you are at your peak, you will not be at your best in the future.

The question most of you will be wondering now is what is the best way to start a self learning process.

The answer is “Just focus on your strength”.

Many leadership gurus have shared many ways on how to kick off a self learning process. For example by Stephen Covey in his book “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” where the Habit # 7 is Sharpen The Saw.

A saw will only be effective as long its teeth are sharpen diligently. The strength of the saw is determine by how sharp its teeth are. Similarly to us, our effectiveness will be determined by our strength not by our weaknesses. Going back to the analogy of the saw, if you diligently sharpen the wrong side of the saw, yes in the long term it may eventually get sharp of course after some great effort but it will  be useless in a short term.

Hence, as a start, you can begin by assessing your self learning needs by identifying your strength. To avoid being bias, get feedback from your family and close friends. You will also need to be very honest to yourself and should be ready to leave your comfort zone. You will need to remember this is a self assessment, no one will be there to tell you if you are doing the right thing or not.

Once you have completed this assessment, you should have a good understanding on your strength.

Next it is time to sharpen the saw. Focus on activities that can enhance your strength. I’m sure in no time, you will start to have a very sharp saw, literary.

So in the future, if you want to start a self learning process just focus on your strength.

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Glossophobia or fear of public speaking is the most common fear among many of us including professionals who are making a living out of public speaking. What makes them to be successful is their ability to overcome their fear by leveraging some skills that many of us can learn effectively. The focus of today’s article is to share some tips on how to collectively learn and build the skills needed to overcome glossophobia.

As a start, for me the word glossophobia itself is a new word I’ve learnt while writing this article. Most probably it is also a new word to you hence I would like to take this opportunity to share from where this word was derived. Based on Wikipedia, glossophobia originated from the Greek word glossa which means tongue and phobos, fear or dread. 

In whatever career you are in, to a certain extend, you will be forced to speak in the public regardless if the group is small or as large as a nation or globally. When this situation happens, many of us would rather avoid it but not realizing this is a good opportunity for their self development. Mastering the skills of effective public speaking not only will accelerate your career growth but also will help to improve your communication skills in your personal live. I’m sure you will be amazed when listenning to great speakers such as nation leaders; Obama, Dr Mahathir and many more who are able to engage and move audiences with their rhetoric use of words and composure to overcome their glossophobia. We can also be like them as long as we are willing to do these 2 things: Control your mind & Just do it!

Control your mind

The major hurdle to be successful in public speaking is your mind. Ironically, at the same time it is also your mind that will determine your success. Logically, if you are able to control your mind then to overcome glossophobia will be simple but yet practically it is not. Naturally, we have been programmed to fight or flight when we are confronted with anything that we think will cause us danger or challenge our status quo. Hence going against glossophobia will require us to change our programmed mind. Thank God we are able to do that.

Firstly, we need to understand the possible root cause of glossophobia which most likely due to traumatic single or multiple public speaking incidents by your own or someone’s experience. The incident might be a rejection or negative perception from the public after failing to deliver a good speech which eventually leads to a series of belief that public speaking will only bring negative perception from the public. Furthermore, it will also cause self defeating and anxiety provoking situation where your thoughts will only picture yourself to be a failure and start to have panic attack. The best way that we thought to mitigate this situation is just by avoiding it. From time to time, this will be a dogma in your mind which will build the glossophobia in yourself.

If this is happening in you, then the first thing you will need to do is control your mind. Even though it is tough but as long as you want to change then it is possible. You can do it by yourself through listening to some great speakers talking in tv, radio or in You Tube to motivate your change. Your amazement listening to them will help you to realize that public speaking is actually a positive interaction that will benefit yourself and also the audience. That is a start to a positive change.

Next, to accelerate your change is to join a community of people who is in the same boat as you. There are several established communities or clubs which focus primary on improving communication skills. One of the club that I just recently joined is Toastmasters International. 

Basically Toastmasters International is a leading movement devoted in making effective oral communication achievable by everyone through learning of speaking, listening, thinking, leadership potential enhancement, foster human understanding & contribute to betterment of humankind. Toastmasters clubs are available throughout the world, you can click HERE to check if there is a club available near you. For those who are in Penang, you are cordially invited to join our club meeting as a distinguish guest. As a guest, you will witness how a Toastmaster Club meeting is conducted to train their members at their own pace to enhance skills to be an effective public speaker. If you are interested to join us, please drop me an e-mail at career_advisor@resumeweassist.com with your contact # to book a seat.

Just do it!

Finally, with the skills you have learnt, now it is the time to put them in practice. Participate in events where you will be able to demonstrate your skills as an effective public speaker.

Good luck!

I would like to read your inputs about this article. If you have any comments or experience to share, please feel free to drop them at below.

Thanks.

Till then,

Take care.

Regards

Yusoff