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Continue based on extract from book, Engage to win – 25 Ways to Win With People by John C Maxwell & Les Parrott.

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Treat a man as he appears to be and you make him worse. But treat a man as if he already were what he potentially could be, and you make him what he should be.

- Goethe

One of the best ways to inspire others and make them feel good about themselves is to show them who they could be. Years ago, a manager for the New York Yankees wanted rookie players to know what a privilege it was to play for the team.  He used to tell them, “Boys, it’s an honor just to put on the New York pinstripes. So when you put them on, play like world champions. Play like Yankees. Play proud.”

When you give someone a reputation to uphold, you give him something good to shoot for.  It’s putting something that was beyond his reach within his grasp.  By speaking to their potential, you help the people around you to “play proud,” as the Yankees do.  Why is that important?  Because people will go farther than they thought they could when someone they respect tells them they can.

If you desire to give others a reputation to uphold, here are suggestions on how to get started:

a.  Have A High Opinion of People

The opinion you have of people in your life affect them profoundly.  Dr. J. Sterling Livingston, formerly of the Harvard Business School and founder of the Sterling Institute management consulting firm, observed, “People perform consistently as they perceive you expect them to perform.”

A reputation is something that many people spend their entire lives trying to live down or live up to.  So why not help others up instead of pushing them down?  All people possess both value and potential.  You can find those things if you try.

b.  Back Up Your High Opinion Of Others With Action

When you back up your belief in people with action, their self-doubt begins to evaporate.

If you want a new manager to rise to the high opinion you’ve expressed about her, then give her significant responsibility.  Nothing gives people confidence like seeing someone they respect put his money where his mouth is. Not only does it empower them emotionally, but it also resources their drive towards success.

c.  Look Past Their Pasts and Give Them Reputations For Their Futures

Old negative names, labels or nicknames can block a person’s growth and progress.  Perhaps that’s why the rites of passage in many cultures include giving a new title or name to the person being honored.  A new name gives someone a hope for a new future.

A fun example of this can be found in the movie and play The Man of La Mancha, based on Cervantee’s classic work Don Quixote.  The protagonist, Don Alonzo, pursues a life of chivalry and seeks to become a knight-errant long after that age of history has passed.  He sees giants where others see windmills and quests where others see rabbit trails. Comically, he “rescues” a common prostitute named Aldonza, whom he sees as a beautiful lady.  He calls her Dulcinea and makes her the object of his knightly exploits.

At first she resents him.  She thinks he is mocking her, because she hates herself and her life. But with time, his vision of her replaces her own and gives her hope.  And as the old man lies on his deathbed, she thanks him for seeing in her what she could not see in herself.

d.  Give People A New Name or Nickname That Speaks To Their Potential

Harry Hopman, one of the finest tennis captains and coaches in Australia’s history and a member of the International Tennis Hall of Fame, at one time built the Australian team to the point that it dominated the tennis world. How did he do it?  By emphasizing what he called “coaching by affirmation.”  For example, he had a slow player whom he named “Rocket.”  Another player, who was not known for his strength or constitution, he called “Muscles.”  And it certainly gave them a boost.  “Rocket’ Rod Laver and Ken “Muscle” Rosewall become champions in the tennis world.

I sometimes encounter leaders who believe you shouldn’t stroke people’s egos by giving them reputations they haven’t quite earned. And I always point these folks to the “ten-year-rule”. It’s derived from research showing that elite performers, those whose reputations precede them, usually needed at least ten years of dedicated and consistent practice before they obtained any recognizable level of excellence. The research also shows that the process can be cut dramatically when individuals see signs that they are already beginning to achieve a recognizable reputation.

To apply John’s teaching to your own life …..

Forget about:

A person’s failures in the past and focus on his or her potential in the future.

Ask:

What is special, unique, and wonderful about this person?  How can I show it to others?

Do it:

Back up your high opinion of a person with action that reinforces that opinion.

Remember:

Many people go farther than they thought they could go because someone else believed they could and told them so.