Engage to win with People- Create A Memory & Visit It Often
Sunday, April 17, 2011 18:39
Adapted from the book ”Engage to win – 25 Ways to Win With People” by John C Maxwell & Les Parrott.
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CREATE A MEMORY AND VISIT IT OFTEN
‘Memory is the treasury and guardian of all things’. – Cicero
Few things bond people together like a shared memory. Soldiers who battled together, teammates who win a championship, and work teams that hit their goals share a connection that never goes away. Married couples who experience rough times can often look back on their earlier experiences together to keep them going. Families bond when they rough it on camping trips or share adventures on vacation and then love recounting their experience years later.
Some memories come as the result of circumstance, but many can be proactively created.
The richest memories are often those we plan and intentionally created. Here are some hints for creating memories that will help you win with people:
a. INITIATIVE – Make Something Happen
Memories don’t find us – we find them. Even better, if we are intentional, we can make memories.
b. TIME – Set Aside Time To Make Something Happen
For years parents have debated the issue of quality time versus quantity of time. As a father and grandfather, I have discovered that it takes quantity time to find quality time. If you don’t carve out the time, you can’t create the memory.
Haven’t you found that most memories you have are with the people you spend the most time with? I know that’s true for me. If you want to make memories with your family, spend more time with them. If you want to create memories with your employees, you won’t do it behind the door of your office. You simply can’t make memories with people if you don’t take time to be with them.
c. PLANNING – Plan For Something To Happen
Most people don’t lead their lives – they accept their lives. They wait for memorable experiences to happen, never giving a thought to planning an experience that will make a memory.
d. CREATIVITY – Find A Way To Make Something Happen
What do you do when you find yourself at an event where you expect to share a memory but nothing seems to happen? You get creative. I’ve been asked over and over to tell the story of the Holiday Bowl I attended at San Diego with friends about fifteen years ago. The game was so dull that I ended up buying newspapers for everyone in my section so that we would have something to do. Another guy nearby, not to be outdone, bought one hundred bags of peanuts and distributed them to everybody in the section. The two of us got a standing ovation, and soon the news crews were more focused on us than the game. I don’t remember the score or much about the game, but it’s a night I’ll never forget. Neither will the buddies who went with me.
e. SHARED EXPERIENCES – Make Something Happen - Together
Memories compound when they are experienced with someone you love. J
f. MEMENTOS – Show That Something Happened
“Almost anything you do today will be forgotten in just a few weeks,” says author and research scientist John McCrone. “The ability to retrieve a memory decreased exponentially unless boosted by artificial aids such as diaries and photographs.”
Don’t you find that to be true? Do you keep pictures or souvenirs on your desk where you can see them? Do you carry photos of people you love in your wallet? Do you have a trophy, plaque, game ball, or other award on a shelf where you and others can see it? We all have things we love – not because they have any material value but because they remind us of places we’ve been or things we’ve done. When you help someone else create a memory, give that person something to remember it by.
g. RELIVE THE MEMORY – Talk About What Happened
The most important part of creating a memory is reliving it. It’s the payoff! Many times when I travel with others, at the end of our trip I ask them to share a favorite memory. It often leads to rich conversations. Or I write a note to someone soon afterward to share my own favorite memory. It creates a connection that bonds us together and makes both of us feel great.
There isn’t a person in the world who doesn’t understand the value of positive memories. They can sustain people during the worst of times and inspire them during the best of times. And best of all, anyone can create a memory and visit it often!
To apply John’s teaching to your life ……..
Forget about:
Trying to have quality time to make a memory if you aren’t willing to invest the quantity of time it requires.
Ask:
What memories have I already created with people in my life that we need to relive together?
Do it:
Plan an experience that will commemorate an achievement or milestone that people will talk about years from now. And don’t forget to create a memento of it.
Remember:
We shouldn’t wait for memories to happen to us. We need to make memories happen.
